Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
