just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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