smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
