He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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