I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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