So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
