my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
