Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
