Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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