FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
