He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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