D3 body, D1 cock
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
