Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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