Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
