is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize