It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
