So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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