I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
