everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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