Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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