I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
