I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
