We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
