8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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