idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
