Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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