yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
