She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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