Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
