69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
