I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
