Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
