Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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