My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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