How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His hands were made for my vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
