Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
how does that bad decision feel?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
