4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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