so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
