I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
