I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's blow job season.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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