By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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