im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think i have two assholes
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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