i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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