Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I had to cum in my sink.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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