Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
