He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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