Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
