4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
