Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
