you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
