I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
