She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
