Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
