Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
