My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
