eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
