Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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