Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
