At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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