I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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