that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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