God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
