Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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